NOT Wordless Wednesday...there is a picture though!

This is the fierce creature that I rescued Joy from. She was sooooo scared. It was just a little turtle---not sure what the big deal was. She was going to move him and when he started to move his little legs, she freaked out and dropped him. Thankfully, I was there to move him to safety and save his life. If Joy tells you that this is all a lie and that she is actually the one who moved the turtle... She would be right! =)
Happy Wednesday everyone!

-r jo!

Army.

This song is my life!...except for the ex-wives part...and the part about a mullet...ok, maybe this song isn't my life, but I do love it!

A Prayer for Brokeness and Restoration.

Recently some mentors of mine have been encouraging me to pray scriptures aloud. This one is one that I have prayed for about a week and a half now and I just wanted to share it. I've been in a place recently in my walk with God where I have let me sinful nature take over instead of focusing on what He wants for me and who He has called me to be. This psalm I think pretty effectively sums up how I've been feeling recently and I'm very thankful to say that God has begun restoring me...again. Don't you ever feel like He's constantly in a state of restoring us? Part of me thinks that that must get very tiring...

Psalms 51

A Prayer for Restoration

[1] Be gracious to me, God,
according to Your faithful love;
according to Your abundant compassion,
blot out my rebellion.
[2] Wash away my guilt,
and cleanse me from my sin.
[3] For I am conscious of my rebellion,
and my sin is always before me.
[4] Against You—You alone—I have sinned
and done this evil in Your sight.
So You are right when You pass sentence;
You are blameless when You judge.
[5] Indeed, I was guilty when I was born;
I was sinful when my mother conceived me.
[6] Surely You desire integrity in the inner self,
and You teach me wisdom deep within.
[7] Purify me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
[8] Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones You have crushed rejoice.
[9] Turn Your face away from my sins
and blot out all my guilt.
[10] God, create a clean heart for me
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
[11] Do not banish me from Your presence
or take Your Holy Spirit from me.
[12] Restore the joy of Your salvation to me,
and give me a willing spirit.
[13] Then I will teach the rebellious Your ways,
and sinners will return to You.
[14] Save me from the guilt of bloodshed, God,
the God of my salvation,
and my tongue will sing of Your righteousness.
[15] Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare Your praise.
[16] You do not want a sacrifice, or I would give it;
You are not pleased with a • burnt offering.
[17] The sacrifice pleasing to God is a broken spirit.
God, You will not despise a broken and humbled heart.
[18] In Your good pleasure, cause Zion to prosper;
build Or rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.
[19] Then You will delight in righteous sacrifices,
whole burnt offerings;
then bulls will be offered on Your altar.

Too Many Words Thursdays.

I've noticed the awesomeness of wordless Wednesdays. Anybody got any strong feelings for or against Too Many Words Thursdays? I could just sit here and ramble on and on about anything...which, now that I think of it...is really what this blog thing is all about though, right? Anyway...

New Things in my life are as follows:
1.Started working out again and really making an effort to lose weight. We'll see.
Jillian and I have a love/hate relationship [jillian michaels, that is]. I'm not sure what to make of it just yet. We've been working out together [aka Me watching the "Last Chance Work out" DVD]. I have to put her on mute sometimes. She's one tough cookie. But with the beach trip with the Malibu Barbies that is quickly approaching [June] I need to get myself together!

2.Got the email from DB that the dress has arrived? What am I supposed to do with it? C said that DB will exchange it for another dress. My question is will they give me a store credit instead of me getting some dress now? I'm hopeful that my current clothing size isn't going to be my size for much longer. I would hate to get a dress and not be able to wear it in a month and a half [as I said, high hopes!] Think I'll call them later and see.

3.I woke up today at 5:30. I woke up before the sun. Thats lame. Its only 9:18 and I'm thinking that a nap would be delightful!

4.Blogged for the second day in a row!

5.....???? I guess thats it for now!

=)

Processing. Grieving. Eating Ice Cream.

This week has been without a doubt a very difficult one. For reasons that I refuse to go into details of right now [mostly because I may burst into tears], just know that its been tough. In all honesty, my most frequent reader[s] already know whats been going on.

The older I get the more flawed, vulnerable, and easily broken I realize I am. Things that I claim don't bother me actually torment me. My hurt feelings and insecurities are usually well disguised in the forms of jokes and sarcasm.

This is due to a combination of things. First I think it could be attributed to the fact that I've been told for years by several different people that my feelings don't matter. If I show I'm hurt, I'm weak or being dumb.

Second of all, it has something to do with the fact that I've lost so many people in my life, most by death. Some by deciding they didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore. For this reason I will put up with more than most will to try to ensure that I won't be abandoned. Part of me honestly believes that if I ask for too much or say what's bothering me without a sarcastic tone, at the end of the day, I'll be alone. I know in my mind that that isn't true. But its still a fear though.

The past few weeks all of this has really been coming to a boiling point. I'm tired of letting people treat me unfairly because I'm afraid of said people not wanting to be around me. This has happened with several people [3 really], not just one. Some of those being family.

I'm having to learn that its ok to let go of relationships that aren't helping you; in some cases, hurting you. As much as it hurts to let people go, it hurts more to stay around and be treated poorly.

So after many prayers, advice, and tearful conversations- here I am. Trying to let go of whats gone. And hold on to what I have--- my God, my family and my close friends [who are actually closer to me than the majority of my blood relatives]. I thank God for all of you [friends...not random people reading this...not that anyone I don't know actually takes the time to read this]. You have been a tremendous blessing. I know that some friendships are for seasons of our lives and not forever, but you all need to stick around, ok? I don't want to find out whether or not I could handle loosing any of you.

Love,
r jo

[week at a glance...]

Monday-Wednesday:
Went to Work.
Hung out with various AMAZING friends at various times and places.


Thursday:
First day of class.
Woke up at 6:42am Thursday morning with a migraine from Hades.
Called out of work.
Missed my two TR classes.
Supposed to meet BF for coffee.

She cancelled.
Missed Dad, just because. No particular reason.

...yes, that really is my dad.

Friday:
Went to class.
Professor #1: Epically awesome!

Professor #2: Intense.
Professor #3: Crazy-Awesome...but mostly crazy. As a side note on Professor #3, he talks really fast and is somewhat soft spoken---> imagine a mumbling quiet auctioner.

...he kinda looks like this...just sayin'.
Went to work.
Epic plans for tonight!

Just wanted to throw this out there...Don't have to read it, its profound but i didn't write it. =p

"Each one of us here today will at one time in our lives look upon a loved one who is in need and ask the same question: We are willing to help, Lord, but what, if anything, is needed? For it is true we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted. And so it is those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love completely without complete understanding."
— Norman Maclean

High hopes, no snow.

A ton of middle TN counties have closed schools because of the 'Blizzard of 10' [my name for this 'tremendous' amount of snow]. Is there snow? No. Is it flurry-ing? No. Ohhhh the disappointment that is lingering in the non-snowing air! Talked to Sean this morning about schools being cancelled. He's very bitter. All I heard this morning was whinning and complaining about how there had to be a foot of snow on the ground before they would cancel schools when he was a kid and there it hasn't even snowed here yet and they've cancelled. To which I replied "That's a good story Grandpa!" All of those "When I was in school..." and "When I was your age..." stories really do make you sound like an old person, just sayin'! =)

...I've missed this blogging thing...maybe I should do this more often! =D