the winter of my discontent.

A few months ago, I decided to get rid of my "these books make me look smart" books. You know the ones I'm talking about---don't pretend! The ones that you have no intention of reading, but simply by having them on your bookshelf, taking up space, your IQ goes up 10 points...or at least you want people to think it does. Among the reject smart books, I got rid of a few (somewhere between 3 and 5) Shakespeare books. Not to fret! I have his complete works in a hardbound book that belonged to my grandmother. Why did I get rid of them? I don't love Shakespeare. I don't. He was funny at times but I could not ever see myself snuggling up with one of his books and reading...and being happy about it. Although I do not love him (Shakespeare), I think he was right about a few things. Hence the title, that is really what this post is about- discontentment.

A friend of mine told me once to learn to be happy where you are. Everybody thinks that if they got to that next big life stage, they would be happier. When I was in middle school, I longed to be in high school. Once I got to high school and realized that it was just as crappy as middle school, just at a larger scale, I wished that senior year would hurry up then I could go to college. Oh college! Doesn't it just sound dreamy? Well, its not. Not always anyway.

I'm relatively happy being in college.
I'm relatively happy about living in the place I live.
I'm relatively with happy me...I guess. ( <---- lies!)
Notice a trend?
I'm happy, but I wish things were somewhat different. Because I'm not crazy happy. But why aren't I crazy happy? I'm in control of how happy I am or am not, right?

I feel like I want to have a lot of change happen in my life. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Honestly I don't. I think my issue is that I want whatever the change is to happen over night. That way I can be happy, right?

Wrong. God is trying to teach me how to be content and thankful and joyful about my current situations.
If I lost all the weight I want to lose overnight, would I really appreciate it? Would I learn how to eat better and how to take care of myself?
If I were able to buy a house tomorrow with a magical amount of money that could cover whatever I wanted, would I appreciate it? Or be proud of it?
I'm rambling, and I'm aware of it. Sorry friend.

All of this is to say that I need to be happy where I am. I'm blessed and I need to be thankful for what I have instead of looking at what others have. God has uniquely blessed me, He's uniquely blessed all of us. I have to get to place where I like me know, at least something about me. Otherwise, I can do all the changing in the world and still not like me, or be thankful or happy.

Thanks for listening. I hope this made sense. And I hope that maybe it helps somebody, just felt like I needed to write it. Happy Monday! =0)