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Sometimes I close my eyes and piece my memories of you back together.
I try and remember every detail.
Which pocket did you keep your wallet in?
Which wrist did you wear your watch on?
Random things urge me to do this- a song, a book, a place...
but more than anything its smelling someone who smells like you.
I once heard someone say that smell has the strongest link to memory- I guess they were right.
Go ahead and laugh, but its true.
That is when it really hits me- how long you've been gone.
How long its been since I talked to you.
Or made you laugh.
Or hugged you.
I close my eyes as that smell- the smell of cigarettes and coffee, and mint lingers in the air- and I piece you together in my mind.
Faded black denim jeans, plaid long sleeved shirt, even in the summer-Sleeves rolled up 3/4th of the way, bandana through a belt loop on your right hip.
Its funny how simply closing my eyes brings you completely back to me.
But then something happens- a thud, or a bump, or a phone ringing- just enough noise to jolt me out of memory and back into reality.
Just enough for you to be taken away from me again.
My memories scatter to the wind like a dandelion- like the ones we would pick together and let float away.
Remember?
Remember?
Want to know a secret?
I'm afraid that someday I'll wake up and all of my memories of you will have done the same thing-floated away.
If you could just keep sending songs, or smells my way I would appreciate it.
Its almost like having some small part of you to hold on to- even if only for a moment.
I wish I had more of you to hold on to.
The black wallet, your favorite coffee mug, pictures, countless records and books and my memories are all I have left that are tangible evidence of you.
And of your absence.
All of this is I guess just to say-
I miss you.