Stubborn.

So I've felt God saying for a while now that I needed to repent from some things and that I needed to ask for brokenness. This is where the stubborn part comes in. God has been telling me this for about 2 weeks now, and up until last night I did my best to ignore Him. I have to admit that I was doing a pretty good job. I'm beginning to find my self ridiculous. I know that I need to ask for brokenness and need to repent. I know that doing so will bring me closer to God. I know that the longer I wait to do what He tells me, the harder it is for me to hear Him. And yet I know the process of being broken---been there, done that, not fun. It seems that I've been more about me having a good time with my faith than actually doing what God is calling me to do.

This all ended last night when I began to pray and repent on my way home from a party. I felt like almost as soon as the words "God, I need to be broken" came out of my mouth, He started the process. He's not slow to forgive or slow to humble us. Its a good time. The evening ended with me laying face down on the floor, crying and praying with Sean praying over me. It definitely did not appear to be one of my best moments, but in actuality it was a big God moment.

It started to make me think---If He gave everything He had for me, why am I hesitant to let Him have all of me? I'm stubborn, selfish, and delusional. And I'm working on it. Its a slow process, I didn't wake up this morning feeling like Super Christian and I do still feel somewhat distant from God, but I know I'm in the right direction. Please pray for me that I will keep my priorities in order and continue to seek after God with all my strength. It would be much appreciated!

:)